01 - One line on what this is

  • This is my public-facing meditation journal, written so that Roger can see how my sits are going, and so that I have space to track progress over time

02 - Where I’m starting from

  • The last time I tried meditating regularly was pretty much exactly a year ago
  • So I’m starting from scratch after another year of stuff like listening to podcasts for multiple hours a day, watching lots of youtube videos etc. And being super left-hemisphere captured too, super yang, locked in, feeling of time scarcity etc

03 - Prior history in 2 lines

  • 45 Ways to Awakening at-home retreat in 2022, 10 day silent vipassana Goenka retreat in 2023, Jhourney at-home retreat in 2024
  • Never stuck to a solo practice for more than maybe 2-3 weeks

04 - What I want from the month

  1. Improve my concentration (I think this is a key flywheel-y thing)
  2. See benefits of meditating that give me the momentum to continue
    • Hunch 1: see more emptiness in the things that bug me
    • Hunch 2: experience the benefits of more shamatha
  3. Surface and work on the main blockers/neuroses that make me averse to meditating
  4. Come up with a positive vision, clarify why I want to meditate, the short/medium/long-term benefits
  5. Meditate 5 days/week w/ Roger
  6. Meditate daily w/ gf
  7. Tweet about the experience as I go to get more positive feedback

05 - What do I want from the year?

  • My framing is something like this:
  • I was recommended the book “Saints & Psychopaths” by Bill Hamilton (Daniel Ingram’s mentor), with a name that the Saints section describes what enlightened people are like
  • I like the idea of Psychopath → Saint as a continuum of ~goodness
  • And I feel like I’m pretty saint-like with my gf, in large part thanks to Kensho
  • BUT I’m still a little shit to my family, who I find wildly frustrating. If you asked them if it seems like I’ve been on a “post-rationalist healing arc” they’d be like “idk if anything he’s more rude and impatient now than before”
  • My Dad is now 70, my Mum is 66. I’d like to be able to be nicer to them! And the rest of my family too